Just Do Your Best

Just so you know, I was the perfect child. Raised as basically an only child, my parents were on easy street. I didn't want play dates, or dolls, or even, heaven forbid, Barbies. I just wanted to dance and dance I did. I was that hard-working, not so talented child, but I loved it and always, always gave 100%. Practice, competition, parade, or performance. I lived for it and never forced my parents to utter the words, "as long as you do your best, I will be happy."

Nope, never!

Isabel has recently taken up competitive gymnastics and she is oozing potential from every hair on her precious head to a perfect toe point (one I never had). She did one handstand her first day of recreation class and was pulled aside for the "join the team talk" from Coach Peter. Poor me, I didn't see it coming! I should have run her out of the gym screaming nooooooooooo at the top of my lungs. You see, competitive gymnastics is 100% harder on mom than talent-ridden child. Let me just take one moment and acknowledge (for Jenny's benefit) that this is level 3, not even USGA sanctioned competitions. I get that, I know that, I've sat through 3 of these nightmare events and held my apprehension at complete bay, knowing that this in no way counts as official gymnastics torture. Until the last one.

We had the talk, "just do your best", "we love you whether you stay on the beam or not", "as long as you smile, you're number one". But here's the problem, she didn't do her best, she didn't smile and no she didn't stay on the beam. And it was all downhill from there.

Beam was first, thank goodness, get that torture out of the way. She fell early on, but finished strong and we were sure she would bounce back. Floor, ugh, not bad, but no smile or enthusiasm. Then came vault. Let me just say, she's become very good and very strong here and she had two FANTASTIC practice vaults. When her turn came, we all had to yell at her to crawl out of the ball she was in to get up, then she did some unrecognizable run, jump, somersault, flail thing. Good thing you get two turns at vault right? Coach Michelle had a talk with her, went over the vault with her and gave her that almighty pat on the bum. Isabel, my talented daughter proceeded to repeat, but with significantly more flailing the first vault. At this point I was hoping she would come down with the stomach flu on the way home, puking all over my car explaining why she was so out of sorts. Bars were last and simply put, more flailing.

I was at a complete loss for words. She knew, I knew, she knew that I knew and we both knew not talk about it. What do you say to your 8-year-old when she just flat out didn't............didn't anything, try, smile, do? This was gonna take some help, specifically, a double bacon cheeseburger, large fry and Biggie diet coke from Wendy's. I like to call it cheap therapy.

Once I sucked all of that down, I ventured a little backseat conversation with the girl. I can't say that we solved anything, but I am proud to say that my daughter knew I still loved her after all was said. It wasn't fun though, calling her out on the not trying, not smiling thing. But she is almost nine (gulp) and accountability is big in our house. The silver lining in this fiasco, is we're done for the year, no meets until next March. I may recuperate by then.

Later, I finally asked my mom why she had been smirking all day. Was she enjoying the turmoils of watching me parent or just in a really good mood. Her answer? Apparently, I wasn't perfect and history had just repeated itself.

Grease becomes High School Musical

I have a very distinct memory of my father and I. It happened before our basement was finished, but we would still gather down there, play pool and listen to music. I remember dancing on my dad's feet and him singing "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from Grease. You know the song right? Olivia Newton John, heartbroken, pining for the fabulous "Danny" or still very hot John Travolta.

Flash forward to the new Grease. That's right High School Musical, in this case, the third. Vanessa Hudgens and let's face it, a little bit cute, "Troy" dance on the roof of their high school singing "Can I Have This Dance?" In my house, history repeats itself. Taylor loves dancing with her daddy to this song, and I love that he humors her, often.

Dads are special, I believe they are what can save a daughter from herself. A good dad can teach her how a man should treat her, he can be her knight in shining armor, when some dumb boy breaks her heart. A daughter needs a daddy, and I believe my girls have won!

BTW, I can't get this to rotate. If you can, please call me or just fix it if you know my info, hint, hint Alison!

What happened to Invincible?

Until March we were invincible. There had been challenges, arguments, changes, aches and pains, but still, invincible. Ryan and I were a team, undivideable. Well, we still are, but to let him walk out of the front door each day, sends panic ripping through me. Being seperated from the kids makes me jittery. My cell phone is always attached to me, and each ring makes my heart skip. I think I may have a case of the "crazies." I have been told and preached out loud to others, don't let the "crazies" take over. But they are sneaky and they come at you out of nowhere!

In March we became mortal. Ryan yelled my name and told me to call 911, mortality struck. When he calls my name from another room, the crazies enter. The other day, calling me to the phone, the sound of my name in his voice, put me to my knees in tears...........to confirm babysitting plans. I am not a fan of mortality. I liked being invincible or as Ryan says "invisible."

Friday, he called.

I could hear it in his voice, trying not to say my name, but it came out anyway. Awakening the crazies. "I'm fine, but I cut my hand and they are taking me to the emergency room, it's bad." Followed by me hearing the nurse say, you need to get off the phone. Then nothing. Well, from him at least. Every emotion came flooding back and the crazies started me swirling down the drain. Enter my mother. She is the plug in the tub, the hook that goes down into the yicky pipes and fishes me back out. Of course, I am still in the tub floating in crazy, but with floaties.

I'm also amazed at my ability to mother. Once I had my kids around me, I was towelled off and out of the tub. Completely sane. Almost the whole family safe in my midst. We are made to protect and nurture our children. Keep them from circling the drain amid the crazies. I find this the easiest part of mothering. The day to day stuff wears at me like a rolling rock, but I can protect them. I can, unfailingly, make them feel safe and secure in disaster, in emergency. They may just find me a little scary on Wednesdays around bedtime.

Ryan is fine. Unless you can't stand the insides of a human being there is a picture of his "hand"iwork. But for a while there, when the crazies were in charge, only the worst could possibly happen. Thank goodness for my intermittant sanity, thank goodness for my mother, thank goodness for my children that force me to cope, and thank goodness Ryan will be fine!

Mortality is scary. It seems to lurk in the corner since March, ready to strike again. The crazies dwell in mortality, but "don't let the crazies take over!"

Greetings from Winlock

We are all doing really well here. The only thing lacking is sunshine. A couple of fun pics of Taylor behind the boat. She did not want to waterski so you have to look at the tears of torture then the beautiful smile!

Movin' On

I'm just not sure I am ready for this. It's the plan, I know! We've been praying for this for almost two years, but really? Can I seriously survive in Winlock, Washington?

You know how when you are travelling and you stop to get gas and wonder why there is a gas station in that bizarrely weird place. Well, drive another mile or two past the gas station and you will find a town. Or in my case a forgotten town. I should not be so brazen about my new home town. I have yet to meet a cross person in good ol' Winlock. From the hardware store to Don who bags the groceries at the IGA, they are all so nice. It's just, well, just kinda not a lot going on.

But the time has come, and they tell me change is good. Character building and all that crappola! Hopefully all this new character building doesn't come with the 20 pounds my last bit of character did. I have asked a certain few of you to keep tabs on me and do an intervention if they see me starting to swell. I am going to have to ask for a bit of an extension on my pending intervention. Moving sucks to put it politely. I think I have eaten out for two-weeks straight, and I am staring down the barrel of another 2 to 3 weeks. Ya, I know most places have a "light" option, but lets be real here for a moment and acknowledge that the bacon double cheeseburger with special sauce is so much better than cardboard wrapped with flour cardboard.

Now for the good news. I found out today, my kids will have 18 kids in their class next year! Ha, eat that ARE friends! LOVE

Things Austin Taught Me

Dear Austin,

We miss you so much! There are not many more words to say then that. Since I know you think middle-age moms blogging is funny I cannot help but dedicate one solely to you. I started "writing" your blog Friday, March 19th around dusk but I just can't verbalize all the emotion and deep thoughts I have had. I want to say so many things to you and have multiple last conversations, I also have lots and lots of questions. When my time comes, you better be waiting for me! You are going to be bombarded!

Because I want your post to be perfect I will dispense with the tears and sadness and try solely for Austin humor and teachings. One little thing though, Cole keeps saying you "sneaked" him......are you?

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1. Yoshida's is the only acceptable Terriyaki Sauce.
2. Put a dollup of ketchup on each Tator Tot.
3. When the boy doesn't call my girls back it's because he was busy building a potato gun.

4. When he still doesn't call, he is napping.

5. When she is sure the boy hates her, it's because he tripped over the potato gun on the way to the phone and started shooting stuff.

6. Taking a "big dump" is much more fun for a two-year-old than going poop.

7. Corn is double the fun, enjoy it going in, enjoy it coming out.

8. Take time to build a really excellent sandwich.

9. Immeasurable joy in life can be found during berry-picking season.

10. Craigslist, ebay, SCORE.

11. Stairs are for so much more than their intended purpose.

12. Boys do not have a built-in "stupid alarm"

and finally............

13. When Cole says "I have an idea" confirm all insurances are in order!

LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!

SERVE WELL!

Austin's Laugh Forever!

Not sure we're doing it right!

We have started reading the Book of Morman with the kids (any predictions on finish time?) and read tonight about Nephi killing Laban. Ryan had the brilliant idea to act it out. Very exciting in the Langhaim household. So, Ryan-Nephi is kneeling over Taylor-Laban and grabs her hair and starts to "slash" her throat. At that exact moment Cole comes running in guns ablazing and shoots Taylor-Laban dead. The timing was absolutely perfect. Needless to say, we were laughing so hard, not much reading happened after the great double-slaying.