What happened to Invincible?

Until March we were invincible. There had been challenges, arguments, changes, aches and pains, but still, invincible. Ryan and I were a team, undivideable. Well, we still are, but to let him walk out of the front door each day, sends panic ripping through me. Being seperated from the kids makes me jittery. My cell phone is always attached to me, and each ring makes my heart skip. I think I may have a case of the "crazies." I have been told and preached out loud to others, don't let the "crazies" take over. But they are sneaky and they come at you out of nowhere!

In March we became mortal. Ryan yelled my name and told me to call 911, mortality struck. When he calls my name from another room, the crazies enter. The other day, calling me to the phone, the sound of my name in his voice, put me to my knees in tears...........to confirm babysitting plans. I am not a fan of mortality. I liked being invincible or as Ryan says "invisible."

Friday, he called.

I could hear it in his voice, trying not to say my name, but it came out anyway. Awakening the crazies. "I'm fine, but I cut my hand and they are taking me to the emergency room, it's bad." Followed by me hearing the nurse say, you need to get off the phone. Then nothing. Well, from him at least. Every emotion came flooding back and the crazies started me swirling down the drain. Enter my mother. She is the plug in the tub, the hook that goes down into the yicky pipes and fishes me back out. Of course, I am still in the tub floating in crazy, but with floaties.

I'm also amazed at my ability to mother. Once I had my kids around me, I was towelled off and out of the tub. Completely sane. Almost the whole family safe in my midst. We are made to protect and nurture our children. Keep them from circling the drain amid the crazies. I find this the easiest part of mothering. The day to day stuff wears at me like a rolling rock, but I can protect them. I can, unfailingly, make them feel safe and secure in disaster, in emergency. They may just find me a little scary on Wednesdays around bedtime.

Ryan is fine. Unless you can't stand the insides of a human being there is a picture of his "hand"iwork. But for a while there, when the crazies were in charge, only the worst could possibly happen. Thank goodness for my intermittant sanity, thank goodness for my mother, thank goodness for my children that force me to cope, and thank goodness Ryan will be fine!

Mortality is scary. It seems to lurk in the corner since March, ready to strike again. The crazies dwell in mortality, but "don't let the crazies take over!"