What happened to Invincible?

Until March we were invincible. There had been challenges, arguments, changes, aches and pains, but still, invincible. Ryan and I were a team, undivideable. Well, we still are, but to let him walk out of the front door each day, sends panic ripping through me. Being seperated from the kids makes me jittery. My cell phone is always attached to me, and each ring makes my heart skip. I think I may have a case of the "crazies." I have been told and preached out loud to others, don't let the "crazies" take over. But they are sneaky and they come at you out of nowhere!

In March we became mortal. Ryan yelled my name and told me to call 911, mortality struck. When he calls my name from another room, the crazies enter. The other day, calling me to the phone, the sound of my name in his voice, put me to my knees in tears...........to confirm babysitting plans. I am not a fan of mortality. I liked being invincible or as Ryan says "invisible."

Friday, he called.

I could hear it in his voice, trying not to say my name, but it came out anyway. Awakening the crazies. "I'm fine, but I cut my hand and they are taking me to the emergency room, it's bad." Followed by me hearing the nurse say, you need to get off the phone. Then nothing. Well, from him at least. Every emotion came flooding back and the crazies started me swirling down the drain. Enter my mother. She is the plug in the tub, the hook that goes down into the yicky pipes and fishes me back out. Of course, I am still in the tub floating in crazy, but with floaties.

I'm also amazed at my ability to mother. Once I had my kids around me, I was towelled off and out of the tub. Completely sane. Almost the whole family safe in my midst. We are made to protect and nurture our children. Keep them from circling the drain amid the crazies. I find this the easiest part of mothering. The day to day stuff wears at me like a rolling rock, but I can protect them. I can, unfailingly, make them feel safe and secure in disaster, in emergency. They may just find me a little scary on Wednesdays around bedtime.

Ryan is fine. Unless you can't stand the insides of a human being there is a picture of his "hand"iwork. But for a while there, when the crazies were in charge, only the worst could possibly happen. Thank goodness for my intermittant sanity, thank goodness for my mother, thank goodness for my children that force me to cope, and thank goodness Ryan will be fine!

Mortality is scary. It seems to lurk in the corner since March, ready to strike again. The crazies dwell in mortality, but "don't let the crazies take over!"

Greetings from Winlock

We are all doing really well here. The only thing lacking is sunshine. A couple of fun pics of Taylor behind the boat. She did not want to waterski so you have to look at the tears of torture then the beautiful smile!

Movin' On

I'm just not sure I am ready for this. It's the plan, I know! We've been praying for this for almost two years, but really? Can I seriously survive in Winlock, Washington?

You know how when you are travelling and you stop to get gas and wonder why there is a gas station in that bizarrely weird place. Well, drive another mile or two past the gas station and you will find a town. Or in my case a forgotten town. I should not be so brazen about my new home town. I have yet to meet a cross person in good ol' Winlock. From the hardware store to Don who bags the groceries at the IGA, they are all so nice. It's just, well, just kinda not a lot going on.

But the time has come, and they tell me change is good. Character building and all that crappola! Hopefully all this new character building doesn't come with the 20 pounds my last bit of character did. I have asked a certain few of you to keep tabs on me and do an intervention if they see me starting to swell. I am going to have to ask for a bit of an extension on my pending intervention. Moving sucks to put it politely. I think I have eaten out for two-weeks straight, and I am staring down the barrel of another 2 to 3 weeks. Ya, I know most places have a "light" option, but lets be real here for a moment and acknowledge that the bacon double cheeseburger with special sauce is so much better than cardboard wrapped with flour cardboard.

Now for the good news. I found out today, my kids will have 18 kids in their class next year! Ha, eat that ARE friends! LOVE

Things Austin Taught Me

Dear Austin,

We miss you so much! There are not many more words to say then that. Since I know you think middle-age moms blogging is funny I cannot help but dedicate one solely to you. I started "writing" your blog Friday, March 19th around dusk but I just can't verbalize all the emotion and deep thoughts I have had. I want to say so many things to you and have multiple last conversations, I also have lots and lots of questions. When my time comes, you better be waiting for me! You are going to be bombarded!

Because I want your post to be perfect I will dispense with the tears and sadness and try solely for Austin humor and teachings. One little thing though, Cole keeps saying you "sneaked" him......are you?

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1. Yoshida's is the only acceptable Terriyaki Sauce.
2. Put a dollup of ketchup on each Tator Tot.
3. When the boy doesn't call my girls back it's because he was busy building a potato gun.

4. When he still doesn't call, he is napping.

5. When she is sure the boy hates her, it's because he tripped over the potato gun on the way to the phone and started shooting stuff.

6. Taking a "big dump" is much more fun for a two-year-old than going poop.

7. Corn is double the fun, enjoy it going in, enjoy it coming out.

8. Take time to build a really excellent sandwich.

9. Immeasurable joy in life can be found during berry-picking season.

10. Craigslist, ebay, SCORE.

11. Stairs are for so much more than their intended purpose.

12. Boys do not have a built-in "stupid alarm"

and finally............

13. When Cole says "I have an idea" confirm all insurances are in order!

LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!

SERVE WELL!

Austin's Laugh Forever!

Not sure we're doing it right!

We have started reading the Book of Morman with the kids (any predictions on finish time?) and read tonight about Nephi killing Laban. Ryan had the brilliant idea to act it out. Very exciting in the Langhaim household. So, Ryan-Nephi is kneeling over Taylor-Laban and grabs her hair and starts to "slash" her throat. At that exact moment Cole comes running in guns ablazing and shoots Taylor-Laban dead. The timing was absolutely perfect. Needless to say, we were laughing so hard, not much reading happened after the great double-slaying.

White, Always White

WARNING: Opinion expressed here!

Recently on Facebook we ladies were asked to post the color of our bra in support of Breast Cancer Awareness. Awesome! Fun! White.....always white. Ya boring, I know. Yesterday, while entertaining myself with some internet browsing I came across this quote, "it made me vomitously sick" (is vomitously even a word?) so naturally I clicked on it. I came upon an article berating this act of bra-discovery. My favorite line was thus "I am vomitously sick of a serious illness like breast cancer being reduced to twee pink ribbons and strollathons." And here is my question.....Why not?

Why can't I smile, post my colors and still support breast cancer awareness, survivors and research without reducing the cause? Who are these people that are so incredibly miserable in life that they too can't have fun and raise awareness. Why must we fight in sadness? OK Carlie you say, you are healthy, your mother is healthy and you have not had first-hand experience with this awful cancer that attacks a woman's body. You're right, I have not. But I have seen the smiles on the survivors faces that cross the finish-line of a race, pushing a stroller with a pink ribbon. I have met women that have faced this disease and came out happy and grateful, not miserable. They may be lop-sided, flat, newly enhanced or they may have lost the battle and their last act is to post their colors, but they find a way to smile, tell their families they love them and say "fight on!" Because I acknowledge my bra is white, I will remember to do my self-examination this month, and possibly another woman will do hers, find a lump, and catch it early enough to win her fight. It's just a guess but I think she'll be grateful to tell you her color.

I do not believe we will win any fight in this life by living miserably and nay-saying. One of those things I actually remember my dad teaching me is this, "if you crash your car, you can either be happy or sad about it, either way, you will still have a crashed car." I think there may have been an explicative thrown in somewhere but it's a great lesson for any problem.

My mother-in-law lost her battle with breast cancer 23-years-ago, I have not met her. I look forward to meeting her. However, ask my kids about her, they remember Grandma Sharon, and I am pretty sure I know why. Before my kids came here they had a chance to meet their grandma, talk to her, sit on her lap, and yes laugh with her, planning all the awful things they would do to their dad here on earth to give grandma a good laugh in heaven. She's smiling and so should we.

Did He or Didn't He?

I find myself concerned about all the Tiger drama of late. Now don't get me wrong. If the guy did in fact stick his club in someone else's bag, he should be penalized (more than 2-strokes), disqualified, kicked in his personal Titleist's by my MMA coach (he kicks really-really hard) and castrated. Sorry folks, I couldn't find a golf analogy for cutting ones.................OK I'll stop.

However, I have neither seen nor heard a specific confession from the guy. Well, he said he has not been true to his values and some other unspecific things like that, but he hasn't admitted to getting his head-covers confused (that one was a little bad). When you are Tiger and choose to keep quiet, then you are guilty until proven innocent in our good ol' media world. And, these women that are stepping forward claiming affairs, really seem awfully trashy and have some sordid affairs in their history as well. Maybe if they work really hard on our all too-willing media friends they can get themselves that nice little paycheck from Tiger's next win. Yes, there will be several, I am sure.

As for Elin bashing in the car window, maybe she was trying to help him, maybe she was suffering from PPD and wanted to kill him and he was running for his life (we women can get pretty crazy due to hormones), or maybe she was actually trying to kill him for hitting to the wrong green. Either way, I hope her swing was a awesome as his.

As for my thoughts, I hope they can figure this all out without bowing to the craziness of the guilty media verdict. If he is guilty, he will receive his reward, if he is innocent, or maybe not quite as guilty as we think, I hope the family will prevail. It is far too precious to let others make that choice for us. Hopefully, no matter the truth, a lesson has been hard learned and maybe we will all look for a better lie on our own fairway.